Hi friend, and welcome to the profile page of Tony Payne. It's such a pleasure. I'm so grateful that you have clicked on his picture or name and wound up here. Let me take this opportunity to ask you a question. Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior? I know you may have come to this website because you like Asinine or are interested in their hilarious brand of sketch and improv comedy. Perhaps it's because you think I am a funny person and want to know more about me. Perhaps you followed the links to my profile because you have liked the sketches I have written, many of which have contained references to people being covered in human feces, a gay cyborg couple, alcohol-related sexual encounters, and S&M office secretaries. With that in mind, I have to ask, have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior? What kind of depraved lifestyle do you lead that would make you want to know more about me, an obviously immature and hollow human being? What are you lacking in your life that would make you look for such shallow satisfaction as a comedy group that bills itself as "Asinine"? The answer is, of course, Jesus Christ.
