Asinine: Sketch & Improv Comedy

Very little is known about native South Carolinian, Ruthie Ravenel. After her years as an Asinine member, she mysteriously disappeared following an incident involving a Vietnamese chimpanzee, several jars of spicy mustard, and a folding chair….. She was discovered years later in a Spanish monastery, nestled deep in the Pyrenees mountains, where she died, having finally perfected one impression, that of a wrinkled, senile woman on her death bed. This letter, believed to be from her first year at Boston College was found in the basement files of an Atlanta bar years later when a cock-fighting match was ambushed by the local authorities.

Dearest Johnny,

        Wartime is starting to take its toll on your beloved. The trials of the asinine life are almost unimaginable. Each day I hear of another brave soldier maimed in the comedy club battles. These forces against us have noble hopes and ambitions, but our overwhelming funny is no match for them. Much like the War Between the States, this is a one sided battle. My conscience tears at me each day I must steal a banner or make a derogatory(yet infectiously funny) joke aimed at our comedic brethren, the shovelheads and those damn yankee flea-baggers….. Alas the emotional tribulations of a devoted member of the Asinine Army weigh on my fragile frame.

        I yearn for the green fields of our native Carolina . Tell all the cousins I'm thinkin of them, and shoot yourself sumpthin big so we can put it up on the wall. Life in the north is hard with all these city folk…they will never understand a soft-spoken southern gal like me. I know that some day we will be together again, but for now, I'm just gonna have to take life with a grain of salt, a squeeze of lime, and a couple of shots of tequila……

                                                                                Forever Yours,

Ruthie XOXO